22 June 2012

In Which I Worry.

A warning: in this post, I deviate hugely from my usual style. I am feeling very confused and a bit disheartened at the minute, and this is my outlet; I hope, in venting here, I don't alienate those of you who have no interest in my dispirited musings.

I am no longer a student. I finished my exams last week and have since been coming to terms with the fact that my life is now in a sort of limbo- I haven't graduated but I am not a student any more.
Generally, it's a nice feeling that I don't have revision and work to do for the time being. but it is also absolutely terrifying. I have no idea what I want to do with my life and where I want to end up.

When I started university, I was convinced I was going to go into Law as a profession. I wanted to do Human Rights law and help everyone who had been left without a voice. However, I soon realised that I was in the minority with my dreams to help others, and most people saw a career in law as a way to make themselves- and, often, big companies and extremely wealthy people- rich or even richer.
I, on the other hand, still want to help people, but I've realised that the way I can do that may have to be reassessed.

I'm still very much interested in the possibility of Human Rights and have investigated avenues of further study, but everything is so confusing at the minute. I am still to get my final results and a lot of what I may do is dependent on those and the degree classification I end up with.
Really, what I want is to somehow land a job which I love which helps people, earns me enough to live on and makes my parents proud of me. Everything is so up in the air at the minute that I find it hard to focus, and I worry about getting a 2:2, never ever finding a job, my parents being disappointed and having to do another long-distance year with my boyfriend.

I know this has been quite negative and rambling, and I hope I haven't annoyed too many of you! I just wanted to get some thoughts down, and I also wondered if anyone else felt this way too. I know a lot of people are in the same boat as me, so if you are and would like to talk, please do get in touch!
I hope you are all well, and much less worried than I am!

1 comment:

  1. Awww I know it's hard to stay positive but you really have to keep your chin up.

    I was in the same position as you and all your worries are justified but just enjoy this limbo period, try to distract yourself.

    You can't do anything until your results come through, and no matter what if helping people is what you want to do then nothing will stop you! Maybe done some voluntary work? If that is your goal don't get disheartened. I'm sure you will get the grading that you want.

    Lots of love! x